colombolions.com

[Mucky]

By Ian Cochrane

With apologies if I’ve spelt your name wrong, invented you, missed you out altogether or fictionalised events.

02/06/2007
Colombo Lions 5, Maldives 6

Six of one and nearly half a dozen of the other sees unbeaten run ended.

“All good things must come to an end”. In this case it was the Lion’s record of ten games undefeated. Rarely though, do things end in such a thrilling and controversial way. It’s never boring even when the Lions are on the wrong end of an eleven-goal thriller which had everything except aliens landing on the pitch.

Another good turn-out gave Andy an embarrassment of riches even in the absence of Captain Lloyd and other key players. Talking of embarrassment, Andy’s team talk before the game made our confidence cups overflow. But this confidence was badly interpreted by everyone. The opposition today were a Maldives team who we beat on penalties last time out when conditions were better suited to fly fishing or the 100 metre breaststroke.

But memory prompted everyone that this team, whilst no pushover, were also nothing to worry about. Today, conditions were perfect. Maybe a tad on the warm side but we’re used to that. We soon found out that the conditions were also perfect for the Maldivians who were merely prevented from playing their game last time around. It showed that they had no “Plan B” but “Plan A” was well oiled and working just fine.

The game itself was halted as early as the 2nd minute when Mr. Osman had to put on a Lion‘s white as his ref’s black was clashing with the Maldives’ shirts. He might have looked like a Lion but his outlook remained as “impartial” as ever.

Pablo did well in the 9th minute to open up the Maldives defence down the left amid some feisty tackling but his support was slow to catch up and his efforts went unrewarded.

The first real goal scoring opportunity came in the 10th minute when a Maldives striker went clean through for a one-on-one with Asanga but a bad touch and a late flag brought the move to a close.

Danny replaced Pablo a minute later and things started going pear-shaped not long after. Surely a coincidence.

In the 12th minute, a great diagonal cross-field ball was met on the corner of the area by a Maldivian striker who kept his head well to lob the advancing Asanga.

0 – 1

“Crap defending…Oy! Is that thing turned on?” said Daz when asked to comment.

The lead could easily have been doubled two minutes later when two strikers combined well in the area leaving them both free to toy with Asanga but, in unselfishly passing to roll the ball into an empty net, they underestimated Asanga who read the play to perfection and got down brilliantly on the ball to save the blushes of a ball watching defence.

The Maldivians, in possession again, wasted no time in exploiting the right side of the Lion’s defence which was looking a bit vulnerable.

Things looked up in the 17th minute when Danny had a decent shot well covered.

In the same minute the Maldivians showed some class and managed once again to get in behind the Lion’s defence with some neat and clever play but Asanga came to the rescue and Martin mopped up well with a row Z clearance.

On 22 minutes, a hopeful Maldives free kick was carried by the wind towards the Lion’s goal but thankfully went just wide.

At the other end Pablo rode a rough challenge but their keeper was first to arrive when the cross came over.

In the 24th minute, John tried a long range effort which went just over. This tactic should perhaps have been utilised more often and sooner. As Andy pointed out, their keeper was short on experience and…well…just short.

With 25 minutes gone the Maldives deservedly went 2 - 0 up when their star man showed great skill and confidence in the area before planting the ball confidently in the far corner from about 12 yards out.

0 – 2

In the 26th minute the Lions breathed a big sigh of relief when a shot born of an identical move to goal number two came back into play after hitting the post.

Former manager Keith Mullan said “It’s f**k*ng embarrassing. I’d rather take a pay cut and go to manage Leyton Orient” (he said I could quote him).

It appeared in the 27th minute, that Seaman had been watching way too much Spanish football on the telly when he ended up in a heap of theatrical agony which fooled no-one.

(I’ve another good quote from Mr. Mullan about this but I’m told that this is a family website. Something to do with descending rapidly and an industry you might associate with Bangkok).

An almost certain goal number three was averted by the intervention of an off-side flag after yet more decent build up which was proving difficult to deal with.

In the 28th minute a very promising Lions move began with some nifty and dedicated footwork on the left by Adnan but his endeavours brought him to a dead-end and he had to look backwards for support. The ball then ended up all the way back at Asanga’s feet but his first time clearance was sliced and was only just rescued from going into touch for a Maldives throw-in. The Lions were rattled and their concentration lacking.

In the 29th minute Daz replaced John in the heart of midfield and Mucky replaced Adnan up front just before the weekly “Swamp-eats-ball” ritual.

Soon after, a much more seldom event was the sight of Mucky getting stuck in right from the off with a great challenge in his own half! Mucky defending! What’s going on there then?

The Maldivians made it 3 -0 soon after when some great build-up play through the middle put their striker clean through and he had no trouble slotting home. There was a hint of off-side but half-hearted claims were ignored.

More blushes were spared in the 37th minute when Asanga showed great positioning sense to save bravely with his feet in a one-on-one situation.

Another major scare came in the 41st minute. Once again it was their star man who showed great class by wrong-footing all four defenders in turn and then he easily and skilfully danced his way to a shooting opportunity which ultimately went wide of the left-hand upright when a goal would have been just reward.

A minute later Kaz showed some mettle by keeping two attackers at bay before clearing the ball away for a corner.

In the 44th minute, the Maldivians poured some cream on the end of a fantastic first half performance when their striker danced around two defenders and Asanga before slotting into an empty net. A goal and three Lion’s arses on the floor.

0 – 4.

A modicum of pride was salvaged towards the end of a disastrous half when, straight from kick-off, Mucky took charge of the ball and advanced up the field without support. This took everyone by surprise including the opposition. He muscled his way past four challenges and managed to get his shot away. Sadly, the shot was blocked but, thanks to a descending tartan mist, the Lions won a corner they couldn’t have dreamed of. Well done that Scotsman!

Half time: 0 – 4

The half-time team mood was surprisingly buoyant considering the score line. Everyone seemed to be taken by surprise by an unexpectedly tricky side and perhaps too much respect had been showed as a result of becoming used to victory. A lesson had been taught but had it been learned? Another good trick that was utilised by the visitors was their use of the full fifteen minute break in the Utopian shade of the club house while we scratched our heads in the full glow of the late afternoon Sun. The Lions would do well to emulate this tactic. However, it wouldn’t be fair to blame their gamesmanship on the Lion’s predicament as they were good value for their advantage.

However, in making the Lions wait they telegraphed their intended tactics for the remainder of the game. They took to the field for the second half far too casually with every intention of preventing any further addition to the score line from either side.

Big mistake!

The Lions began the second half confidently in all areas with Laurent and Chandu combining well. But the Maldivian gamesmanship continued early with a 46th minute substitution.

Lion’s teeth were finally bared in the 49th minute when a diagonal cross-field free kick by Danieli was too high for Chandu but landed at John’s feet. He promptly floated the ball back into the danger area where Danny brought it down skilfully to turn and crash his shot into the net past the hapless keeper.

1 – 4

There was an early indication of Mr. Osman’s eccentricity in the 51st minute when a Maldives hand-ball went unpunished during some promising Lion’s play. Mucky was played in but the bounce made it awkward to smack first time. He was forced wide but managed to link up well with Jules and Danieli whose shot was blocked away for a corner.

A minute later a crunching tackle led to extended treatment for a Maldivian winger but there was a question mark over whether it was as bad as it looked. It soon became apparent that the visitors had been instructed to waste as much time as possible. It turned out that they were pretty good at it too. The second substitution shaved a couple more minutes from the clock as everyone except the irate Lions seemed to forget about the “injured-man-off-the-field” rule.

The tide turned again in the 52nd minute when a Maldives goal kick was delivered up field and pushed out wide to their winger. He beat Iain D. for pace and crossed low to a team mate who coolly passed the ball into an empty net while Asanga was torn between coming and staying.

1 – 5

The Lions then put a few moves together and took control of the game. Danieli showed his commitment by forcibly retrieving the ball from an antagonistic midfielder who refused to let go when the Lions were awarded a free kick. It might have turned into something but Mr. Osman was quickly on the spot to calm the situation.

The Lions came close in the 56th minute when Danieli floated in a cross which John struck against the post. The rebound almost fell to Mucky but another awkward bounce saw the chance disappear.

The Maldives attempted to counter attack but Vergard cut out their advance and played the ball forward to Daz who quickly played the ball on to Danny who took one touch before making goal scoring look easy.

2 – 5

Vergard’s presence became notable at right-back after standing up well and stopping the run of their tricky winger after he’d beaten two players with ease in the 57th minute.

On the hour, a hopeful ball forward by John prompted a defensive error that put Danny clean through and he wasted no time in turning cleverly to wrong-foot two defenders and leather the ball home giving the keeper no chance. Another hat-trick for Danny.

3 – 5

Game on! Could the fairy tale come back actually be possible?

The Maldives began to get the measure of Mr. Osman and knew just how far they could go when wasting time. They certainly took their time returning the ball to the centre spot to continue the game.

I haven’t known time wasted like this since 1992 when Mrs. Gladys Bonkers of Willesden broke the World record for watching paint dry only to find out later that she had in fact been watching wallpaper settle. Tragic!

The Lions were now dominating the half while the Maldives were getting away with murder. Foul throws, off sides and ankle biting all went unrecognised by the FIFA approved official. But the Lions were becoming more confident and it was clear that the visitors were running out of ideas.

Laurent was terrier-like on the right side of defence, battling away and winning most of his challenges and Steve H. was everywhere putting in a good substitute captain’s performance.

In the 65th minute a miracle. The visitors ran rings around the Lions to set up a great goal which was disallowed for off-side and the Lions breathed again.

Iain D then showed a good bit of anticipation by taking out a threat down the left.

Two minutes later though, he was unfortunate to be booked when a tangle of bodies resulted in one of the visitors ending up on his back. No malice but a yellow card.

The resulting free kick was long range and on target but Asanga watched it all the way and collected easily.

Things got really interesting in the 72nd minute when John latched onto a perfectly ranged corner kick to make it…

4 – 5

Cue wild scenes of joy throughout the Lion’s personnel. Now there was real belief that a stunning come back was on the cards but some carefully orchestrated diving was being rewarded with undue free kicks for the opposition and some imaginary cramp saw to it that yet more time ticked away.

A bizarre chain of events then occurred in the 75th minute starting with an agricultural challenge on the edge of the area by Chandu just when we thought we’d got a hold of the game. The free kick was awarded but Chandu’s suggestion to Mr. Osman that he retreat to another place and have sex with someone was met without humour and a red card was immediately shown. Fair enough – some might say. To repeat the suggestion after the red card may also seem a pointless endeavour but it was soon echoed by the bench-dwelling Lions when the eccentric official changed his decision from a free kick to a penalty!

The spot kick was dispatched well with Asanga being sent the wrong way.

4 – 6

It’s fair to say that Lion heads dropped at this inexplicable behaviour and yet more attacks of on-field cramp but there was still plenty of time left to put the lid on an amazing turn around.

Yours truly entered the fray with ten minutes remaining and they didn’t score on my watch but Vergard made Maldivian buttocks clench by scoring a fifth for the Lions to set up a frantic last few minutes. However, very little time was added and a fantastic unbeaten run came to an end in a very disappointing way.

Full time: 5-6

In the end it was 10 men against 12 so the Lions can be justly proud of their second half performance and take their first-half kick up the derrière as a warning against complacency. It was a strange game where the visitors deserved their victory but it should it have been allowed to happen?

Asanga narrowly missed out on the M.o.M award for keeping their tally in single figures in the first half but Danny’s hat-trick was enough to sway the vote in his favour. Well done that chap.

Starting XI: Asanga, Vergard (1), Steve H (Capt.), Martin, Kaz, Chandu (red card), John (1), Danieli, Jules, Adnan, Pablo

Subs: Laurent, Sylvan, Danieli, Iain C, Iain D (yellow card), Mucky, Danny (3), Simon, Darren, Seaman