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[andyallenone]

Match report by IAIN COCHRANE

With apologies if I’ve spelt your name wrong, invented you, missed you out altogether or fictionalised events.
Thanks again to Andy for Dictaphone duty. Next time you run out of tape, turn it over or is the technology just too damned fangled these days?

18/08/2007

Colombo Lions 2, Hanamulla United 2

Osman shocker as two football teams nearly kill each other.

The fact that they were all wearing the same kit suggested that this lot were probably a bit tasty. It didn’t take long before our suspicions were confirmed but we have recently been coveting a challenge for a change and by Jiminy we got one. They were quick, some had skill in abundance and they were obviously familiar with one-another from training. Sadly, their gamesmanship cultivation has been a monumental success and they knew how to use it. The English premiership could learn a lot from these guys about how to stick the boot in and Stanislavsky would have been appalled by their abstract approach to reality portrayal. (They fell over in the box a lot). Thankfully, it didn’t work although Mr. Osman’s perception of their antics amounted to a glittering review of how to play football. I won’t hide any longer. Every week, the Colombo Lions play against twelve men. There, I’ve said it!

After a cagey start, the Lions were put on the back foot for the majority of the opening minutes by a very young, very quick opposition but the Lions' back four held their line well and snuffed out any creativity on Hanamulla’s part with a well organised off-side trap. The one time they did break through, Asanga dealt with the awkward delivery comfortably.

The first signs of Lion intent came in the 6th minute when a good run down the left by Pablo culminated in a shot that was well wide in the absence of any support.

More strategic defending halted any quick reply to the first inklings of Lion’s pressure and they were not allowed to settle. Captain Rich was dictating the show with some great distribution and was causing all kinds of problems on the left that could only be dealt with in Billy Bremner style. Needless to say, the free kick was awarded. Rich floated in his own free kick from the edge of the area and Steve H. found himself on the end of it. He was on target but the keeper made a comfortable save.

Frederik then put a stop to the next attack by sliding in to cancel out a clear goal scoring chance for Hanamulla. A great tackle that put the ball into touch.

The opposition then began to assert themselves and capitalised on their pace to cause problems for the Lion’s back four realising that the off-side trap was too good for them. At the same time, this was a dangerous game that the Lions were playing with Mr. Osman looking to pick and choose his decisions.

It also coaxed the opposition into trying speculative, long-range shots too but Asanga would deal with these all day.

But then speed was the catalyst that resulted in a goal that was barely deserved or justified. Having beaten Iain C. for pace down the left, a mis-kicked shot ricocheted and looped over the stranded Asanga. The ball hit the bar and barely made it over the line before Steve H’s rescue attempt was declared a lost cause. A goal out of nowhere with 15 minutes gone.

0 – 1

Back came the Lions with an attacking move down the right. Rob sent in the cross but there was no-one there.

The opposition then turned the screw and began to run the Lion’s defence ragged. But then a lovely ball over the top from Rich for Furrukh to chase was ushered out for a Lion’s corner.

Pablo initially fluffed the corner kick but worked hard to regain control of the ball via a throw-in. He then found Chandu unmarked but his shot took some paint off the wrong side of the left-hand upright. A great chance for the Lions.

Then the Lions took the sting out of the game by slowing things down and passing the ball well. But the first signs that murder was unimpeachable came when Pablo was scythed down during another run down the left. He still managed to get to his feet and carry on but the cross was met by a Hanamulla head and the danger was gone.

On 21 minutes, another good passing move down the right restored parity when Rob took matters into hand and sent in another fine cross which was met by an unmarked Rich on the edge of the area. He struck the ball sweetly with his left foot and, although the keeper got a hand to it, the ball flew into the top right-hand corner. A beauty!

1 – 1

The score line accurately reflected the state of play which became end to end but both defences stood up well.

Then Chandu left the field with a pulled muscle having had a good game. Maybe he came back from injury too soon but his replacement, Hasim soon had a shot on goal which went narrowly wide and cemented a good spell of pressure on the visitors.

Another shot on goal from Pablo from a precision corner by Rich in the dying minutes of the half showed that the Lions weren’t satisfied with the way the game had gone so far and gave an indication of the half that was to follow.

Half time score: 1 – 1

Hanamulla began the second half with as much, if not more, confidence than the first. But their opening move was halted by a hand-ball and the Lions were able to dictate the pace again.

Then early on, the fun and games started. Rich’s run down the left was ended when he was brought down just outside their area by a bloke half his size just as he prepared to cross and, astonishingly, the clear foul went unpunished.

A free-kick was awarded to the Lions however, when “someone tried to have sex with Steve H.” (Sometimes a direct quote is irresistible).

At this point in the game you wouldn’t have put a fiver on anyone actually winning even when the Lions had a prolonged period of encampment in the Hanamulla half. Their defence were beginning to panic.

Rich was then the victim of an identical challenge by the same player in the same spot under similar circumstances and things were teetering on the brink of becoming tasty when Mr. Osman failed to recognise a genuine professional foul when he saw one.

This was real end-to-end stuff but the Hanamulla keeper was the busier of the two with the Lions defence on song. Steve H. played the ball out of danger with a nifty one-two with Rich and carried the ball to the half way line before putting Nick through the middle for a genuine goal scoring opportunity. The shot, though, was knocked out for another corner.

In the 62nd minute, a bullet of a shot from Rob was parried well by the keeper and Mesh nearly cracked it in from the rebound but again the keeper somehow managed to keep it out.

A minute later, Mesh had another crack. He tried to loop one over the keeper but the ball went agonisingly over the bar.

Another blatant foul went unpunished when Mesh was assaulted on the ball.

It’s worth mentioning that both teams had good spells but the length of Hanamulla’s forays into Lion’s territory were helped when the game had to be stopped in order for them to take all the free kicks they were given when the Lions started to dish out a bit of what they’d been getting.

Nick was then instrumental in holding the ball up during another Lions attack and then squeezing it through to the advancing Mesh who had no trouble slotting home from inches out just before another very late and pointless foul. Again, his attacker went unpunished and it was the last action Mesh was to see today as he went off injured.

2 – 1

Hanamulla then applied a bit of pressure but then seemed to ruin their own half decent chances by fouling when on the attack, Mr. Osman, to his credit, generally siding with the defenders’ point of view.

Then the tape ran out.

The one significant game changing event happened in the last ten minutes when a Hanamulla free kick resulted in some prolonged pinball in the Lion’s area after a decent shooting opportunity had been squandered. Too many cooks tried to clear the danger and in the end Steve H. put a monumental foot through it. Sadly for Donaldinho, his stomach was in the way and being carried at just the right angle for the ball to ricochet into the net for the most unlikely of equalisers. He carried though. What a trooper!

2 – 2

We still had the better of the remaining time but there was not enough of it to chalk up a win.

Final score: 2 - 2

Bad luck (and Mr. Osman) played a big part in the Lions missing out on a deserved victory. This was a good wake up call of a game and it was nice to see Captain Rich leading by example by firstly nearly tearing someone’s head off before offering the sound advice to the effect that everyone should “calm down”. Priceless! The swamp decided not to take part in today’s game after last week’s hat-trick went unrewarded. Is there anything worse than a petulant swamp?

M.o.M. went to Captain Marvel for another tireless and vocal performance. He kept the confidence tanks topped up and bagged another crucial goal. It was tight decision with Andy Allen doing everything right for the 17.8 nanoseconds he was on the pitch.

Starting XI: Asanga, Donaldinho, Kaz, Steve H, Iain C, Chandu, Frederik, Rich (Capt) (1) (M.o.M.), Rob, Pablo, Furrukh

Subs: Andy, Sylvain, Mesh (1), Hasim, Nick

Free with next week’s match report will be the opening instalment of Stephen King’s most shocking and unnerving novel yet, “The Kit Bag”…….Wwwwhhhoooooaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

[RedOrDed]

Sexy Black Cat wrote: Match report by IAIN COCHRANE

A free-kick was awarded to the Lions however, when “someone tried to have sex with Steve H.” (Sometimes a direct quote is irresistible).

It wasn't me. I was not there ok. :mrgreen:

Good report, shame about swampy not turning out this week. I miss that lazy smelly git. :P