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Match Report by Iain Cochrane


With apologies if I’ve spelt your name wrong, invented you, missed you out altogether or fictionalised events.

Thanks to Andy and Luke for Dictaphone duty.

22/09/2007

Colombo Lions 3 – Sarasavi 1

“I am Sri Lankan. I support Sri Lanka”…admits crazy referee.

So the cat is out of the bag. We always suspect a bit of bias now and again but this guy nailed his colours to the mast without caring who was watching. He still couldn’t take the shine off this impressive victory over a young and talented Sarasavi side though. Mind you, they were kitted out in Portugal shirts which gave most of us a good reason to kick lumps out of their No. 7.

This was the 101st game for the Lions who looked resplendent in a brand new kit of Dark Blue and for all you statophiles out there, it all looks a bit like this:

Played 101, won 44, drew 17, lost 40 (39 really but Rich and Danny perhaps should both have converted their penalties to put this debate to bed).

Scored: 280 (282 if Rich and Danny had scored those bloody penalties).
Conceded: 229 (including all off-sides and erroneously awarded penalties).

Best unbeaten run: 10 games which we have just equalled (not counting the game where Rich and Danny failed to convert their penalties).

Biggest victory: 13 – 0 (twice) against Sunrise United and Pelhengoda United.

Biggest defeat: 7 – 0 against Don Bosco.

Worst losing streak: 5 games on the bounce (twice).

13 clean sheets.

At least two penalty misses. And having milked that one to death, it all began thus…

The opening five minutes were pretty evenly contested with the possession being split 50/50.

Before long the headlines were revolving around a bizarre incident during Sarasavi’s first real attempt on goal. A short, neat cross was played to the edge of the six yard box where an unmarked attacker had no trouble heading into the net. A perfectly good and well executed goal. However, the Lion’s defence played to a whistle that was clearly blown before the header was despatched. Despite concentrated haranguing the referee would offer no reasonable explanation of his actions.

0 - 1

Thus set the scene and paved the way for a tragedy of errors concerning the FIFA acknowledged official.

Those who played at Borella two weeks ago and those who read the report from that game will be familiar with this particular man who has plummeted new depths in creative refereeing.

Soon after the restart, the Lions looked to be on a mission and were soon on even terms. Rich worked his way into the area showing some nifty footwork and looped a cross toward the far post where Rob was waiting to head an equaliser which would have had a world beating lateral thinker scratching his head for a reason to disallow.

1 – 1

The Lions then took hold of the game with Rich and Rob linking up particularly well.

Jules then forced the first of many corners to keep the pressure up.

At the other end the offside trap was becoming pointless as Sarasavi found themselves with three in the area without a flag but the move came to nothing and the first real signs of frustration and protest were offered to the ref by Steve H.

Then it was all hands to the pump for the Sarasavi defence as the Lions piled on the pressure with newly substituted John and Disco linking up really well to cause all kinds of problems.

Next to have a go was Pablo who clipped the outside of the post after some fantastic approach work. Then he turned assistant when he placed a great ball at Disco’s feet but the shot was wide.

Soon after that the ball was in the back of the net after some neat one-touch passing in the area between Disco and Liam but the goal was ruled out for off-side.

But the Lions were wielding the cosh and another good move was thwarted after John muscled his way into the box only to be scythed down before he pulled the trigger. PENALTY! No chance.

But the corner was given. Pablo floated in a high one which found John’s head at the far post.

2 – 1

The lead was almost extended in the dying minutes of the half when the ball fell to Hashim on the edge of the area. He unleashed a bullet of a shot on the half volley only to see his effort turned expertly over the bar by the tiny keeper.

Half time: 2 – 1

Swampy was straight into the action at the beginning of the half by claiming his first ball in the 46th minute.

Apart from that, it was business as usual. Cormack sent a wide ball out to Rob who got around his man in the box despite being fouled. Presumably the ref was playing the advantage (yeah, right!). Rob’s cross was met by Pablo but the whistle blew for something or other. Free-kick to Sarasavi after Rob’s claim was ignored.

Rob was soon at it again wide on the right. He earned a free-kick near the corner flag but his assailant walked free without a deserved yellow card.

Vegard then started something when he brought the ball skilfully out of the Lion’s half to feed Pablo who then split the defence with a jaw-dropping through ball to Disco but the off-side flag went up.

A throw-in was then awarded to Sarasavi when Rob appeared to have been pole-axed by an invisible defender whilst trying a bit of right wing trickery. Memories of Stuart Hall and “It’s a knockout”! Hilarious.

The ball was soon back in the Lion’s possession when Steve H. forged a strong run up the middle of the pitch to the edge of the Sarasavi area where he laid the ball off to Disco who touched it on to Pablo. A Brilliant first-time strike, however, was met by an equally brilliant save at the keeper’s near post. The best move of the game.

It’s fair to say that Sarasavi had a bit of possession but rarely knew what to do with it and the traffic was pretty much one-way but the Lions were taking too much time in the area and Sarasavi were coping doggedly.

Pablo then took advantage of a good pass out wide to him from Disco. He took one touch before powering a low ball into the net from a tight angle at the near post. A just reward for all his hard work.

3 – 1

Cormack then distinguished himself with some tireless covering defensive work from mid field. The boy was everywhere.

Swampy then got his second touch of the game by swallowing a high clearance.

Sarasavi then took hold of the game and began to explore the options down their left hand side again and again. Their left side attacker found himself in space on a number of occasions causing blips on the Lion’s ECG. Frederik was called into action a couple of times but he wasn’t made to work as hard as his opposite number.

But after five minutes of relief the Lions started to hit them again. Rich, John and Pablo all went close in a sustained bombardment but without success.

Rich then had a Geoff Hurst moment with his 215th shot of the game when he let fly from the edge of the area only to see the ball crash off the bar and into the ground before the clearance was made. Did it cross the line? I guess we’ll never know.

The wacky ref then created the biggest talking point of the game. Their attacker rode the Lion’s defence creating a great shooting opportunity but Steve H. made a fantastic last minute challenge which cleared the danger but the ref added to a dismal performance by awarding a penalty to Sarasavi. Again no reason was offered for this bewildering decision. Steve’s reaction was ill-advised when he pushed the ref and he had no option but to put a cherry on the top of a shocking display by sending off the frustrated centre back.

Justice was done though when Frederik brought off a stunning save high to his left to deny Sarasavi a way back into the game.

Final score: 3 - 1

Aside from actually beating a decent team, this victory meant more to everyone just so that the ref hadn’t succeeded in his nefarious plan to steer a near pointless football match one way or the other. But as the sun goes down on another Saturday, we won and the Lions have edged closer to bettering their unbeaten record. Roll on next week.

M.o.M. suggestions came thick and fast after the game. To the neutral, the Sarasavi keeper should have walked away with the award after an amazing display for one so young and tiny. Mentioned in dispatches for the lions were Laurent, Cormack, John, Rich, Pablo and Rob but it was the flying Frenchman Frederik who claimed the honour. Personally speaking, the mental snapshot I have of him in mid-air stopping that penalty will stay with me forever. Well done Monsieur.

Thanks to Rich for arranging the “100 battles” celebratory cake in the cricket club. Very tasty.

Still waiting for Mums to apply for dedications.

BRING BACK OSMAN! THIS REF’S A NUTTER! STEPHEN HAWKING COULDN’T FIGURE OUT SOME OF THIS BLOKE’S DECISIONS WITH A SLIDERULE, A CALCULATOR AND AN ELECTRON MICROSCOPE! AND I HOPE HE’S READING THIS!!!

Starting XI: Frederik (M.o.M.), Iain D, Kaz, Steve H (red card), Iain C, Jules, Vegard, Rich (Capt), Rob (1), Mesh, Furrukh

Subs: Andy A, Seaman, Sylvain, Pablo (1), Disco, Cormack, Laurent, John (1), Liam, Hashim